Parents in Training

Written by Zak Beauford

Children are as good as they imitate parents who are as good as they imitate Christ. That is the fundamental simplicity of successful parenting I believe. Children will follow your example. The question is, what kind of example will you give? I cannot expect my children to exceed the character I have exemplified for them, therefore if I have exhibited bad character I can expect that in return, or worse, but certainly not better.

This question has troubled me greatly: how can I expect my children to have a character quality that I myself at adulthood struggle to have? Take for instance self-control. If I find myself easily provoked as an adult, how can I discipline my child for not having it, lest I be a hypocrite? If I expect for my children to learn certain character qualities, then the best thing I can possibly do towards that end is learn and exhibit them myself, especially in my dealings with their bad behavior.

What am I ultimately to take away from this, that I am not the only one in training here. My children and I are both in the school of sanctification, we are just at different grades, therefore I must submit myself wholly to God's sanctification for the sake of my children and ultimately for God's glory. At such a thought I feel overwhelmed, knowing that my character compared to my Heavenly Father is severely lacking, however I also know that this means He is a better Father than I am which means He far surpasses me in the department of love, grace and mercy (to name a few).

So, I take heart and lay at His feet eager, willing and ready for Him to take me to a deeper level of sanctification. Such a process I know to be painful but the resulting peaceable fruit of righteousness far outweighs the associated pain (Hebrews 12:11). I am reminded that this is not a game of striving but one of fruit as a result of His work. I must simply lay myself before His pruning blalde and He will bring the increase. (John 15:2).

While contemplating how to be a better father, I read this passage and it caught my attention. Surely there is a principle herein that can be applied to human parenting. While I realize the context here is not parenting, I think a vital principle is given which is a son does what he sees his father do.

John 5:19 "So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise."

We are all imitators, make sure we are imitating someone worth being imitated, knowing that someone will imitate us. Christ is the only one worthy of imitation. If He truly is your life, your children are in good hands. May our children see Christ!